This is a blog I hope to keep updated as I start into the ‘home stretch’ of my pregnancy. It might have been better to start from the very beginning, but I think 25 weeks (okay, 24 weeks and 4 days to be precise) is as good as a time as any to chronicle my way to June 21st. A very quick backstory on me. I’m 29 years old, and I have been trying to conceive a baby since I was 24. We began in February of 2005. After a year of trying on our own, we got some tests done through my doctor’s office, whom I will call Dr. P. Our struggle with infertility was a pretty long, emotional, exhausting and expensive trek (The Three E’s) that ultimately landed us in an RE’s office. RE is a Reproductive Endocrinologist who specializes in fertility. Now our so-called fertility problems were defined as ‘unexplained’, which is exactly what it sounds like. ‘We have no idea what the hell is wrong with you.’ Vince was pretty much perfect in the role he had to play in this entire thing. All his tests were great. It was me that was the issue. My body wasn’t cooperating, and I can’t really explain to you how it feels to believe that you’re not quite ‘woman’ enough to do what nature intended and carry a child.
I had a lot of faith in God, although I had to admit I wasn’t always happy with Him. There was a lot of bribing, resentment, pleading, crying… you name it, I probably did it. But I knew, in the end, it would happen when the time was right, and when the time was right, He would bless us with a baby.
It got to the point where I started looking into adoption. We were on our second cycle of Follistim (injectible medicine to help produce more mature follicles) and really had only one more cycle ahead of us should this one fail. We had spent a LOT of money over the past 4 plus years on trying to get that little swimmer to where it needed to be. There were so many tests, bills, appointments, medicines, both oral and otherwise. We started injects the summer of 2009, where Vince had to pop a needle in me every night for a certain amount of days, split up by trips to the RE’s office (we’ll call him Dr. S) to have invasive ultrasounds to look at my ovaries. Thankfully Dr. S was extremely personable, and optimistic and actually made me feel like he *cared* about our struggle, rather than viewing us as another cash cow the way I feel some doctors do.
But I digress. After our first injects cycle failed, I had to take a month off because of cysts. I had a laparoscopy done, despite both Dr. P and Dr. S not really thinking I needed one, but lo and behold, they found mild endometriosis and a cyst. After everything was removed, then came cycle #2. At this point we had done 12 IUIs between Dr. P and Dr. S. I had been on Clomid, Follistim, taken trigger shots, booster shots… every possible vitamin to help fertility? I did it. I was tired, and more or less resigned to the fact that having my own baby may never happen. We did the IUI after finding 3 mature follicles. Then I went about my business. For two weeks, I practically forgot about the IUI. I didn’t obsess over my possible symptoms, the way I had for 3 years. I didn’t circle my testing date on my calendar. I didn’t… care. Okay, that’s wrong. I *cared*, I just didn’t revolve my life around those two weeks, because in my heart, I knew it the test would be negative. We couldn’t afford IVF ($14,000 out of pocket? Yeah… no.) So I started researching adoption… just in case. I still wanted children, and if I was going to end up paying thousands of thousands of dollars, it was going to be when I knew for sure I would be getting a baby out of it.
Remember what I said this would be a quick backstory?
5 days past my IUI, I had to take a booster shot of HCG to try and help my body believe it was pregnant so it would give the ‘egg’ (hopefully a fertilized one) time to implant in my lining. A lot of women using the HCG trigger/booster shots love to test them out. They get positive pregnancy tests after taking the shot, since HCG is what your body produces when you ARE pregnant. Then, as the HCG begins to fade, the positive pregnancy tests fade as well. If you end up getting knocked up, the HCG returns, and chances are, if you get another + test after about 14 days (on a simple trigger), it’s likely a legit positive!
The booster just added more days to my 2 week wait. I had to test on October 15, 17 days past my iui, whereas the trigger usually allows you to test 14-15days past.
I took a test on 11 days past iui. It was a faint positive, which told me the HCG booster was fading from my body. I went about my weekend and forgot about it. Monday morning, I found another cheapie HPT in my bathroom and took another one for fun.
The bottom test is from 11dpiui and the top is 14dpiui. The top was definitely darker. But with the HCG fading, it should have been getting lighter, or have been completely gone… RIGHT?
I was suddenly becoming obsessed all over again with POAS (peeing on a stick or pee on a stick). I didn’t tell Vince, since we had a few more days before my official testing date, and I didn’t want to get his hopes up. At lunch that day, I went to CVS to buy a pregnancy test. I spent $21 on 3 tests…
I had never seen a positive pregnancy test so… positive. And so close to an official testing date. I waited… and Wednesday, 16dpiui, I took another test and a digital that read “Pregnant”. Just to be safe (and because I loved taking the tests and seeing POSITIVE instead of stark white NO), I test Thursday, October 15th, my official testing date.
It was hard to believe. After 4+ years of nothing, and dwindling hope and a lot of rollercoastering emotions, we were finally pregnant! I got the BETA (blood test through my RE’s office) that day and YES I was pregnant. Another test 2 days later showed my blood levels were rising… something that felt so out of reach was finally mine. And ours.